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BREAKING NEWS: 'Cyclone Stevo' hit Mt Druitt last night in the early hours of the morning.

Victims were seen wandering aimlessly through the streets muttering "f*ck me dead". The cyclone destroyed the area, causing approximately $18 in damages. 2 acres of burnt out cars, fridges and other electrical appliances were also disturbed.

Several collections of momentos including a set of limited edition VB bottles were unfortunately damaged beyond repair.

Many of the locals were awoken long before their Centerlink cheques arrived. Shaken community members are dumbstruck by the event and are still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting actually happened in Mt Druitt.

One resident, Sammi Sue Sanders, a 17 year old mother of 4 said "It was such a shock, my little Coco-Maddiysan came running into my bedroom crying.. Chardonnaye, Ysabellah and Jorjah slept through the whole thing!"

Police officials say that robberies, mugging and crime rates were unaffected and continued on as normal throughout the storm.

Rescue workers have so far managed to ship 380 cases of West Coast Coolers and Tooheys New into Mt Druitt to help the stricken locals.

The search is still carrying on through the rubble. At time of print, a large quantity of personal belongings have already been salvaged including health care cards, jewellery from Coles and kitchenware sets from Aldi.

(Disclaimer: The contents of this fictional article do not represent any real individuals, living or dead. The purpose of this work is a lame attempt on my behalf to be humorous and should not be taken seriously.)


Kez said...

hahahaha. I think there's a place like that in every corner of Australia!

Death Wears Diamond Jewellery said...

hahahaha. as a sydney gal, i found this too funny. such a stereotype, but so true, so funny